Thomas was whisked away within minutes of being born and taken to the special care unit, they gave us a photo of him wrapped in a blanket with a hat on that was bigger than his body, he was born 5lb 12oz and looked sooo tiny.
They then stitched me up, as they had cut me open with a pair of scissors (then a knife because 1st cut was in wrong place) all with NO anesthetic, OUCH that hurt!!
At about 8am we went to see Thomas before he was transferred for his 1st op and then to be followed by another op that day.
Emotions all over the place, on one hand so happy to have this little baby that I loved from the minute I did the test and on the other completely terrified as he had only a 12% chance of survival.
Thomas was taken down "Cardiac Hill', if anyone knows Bristol you will know why it's been nicknamed this. Horrible, horrible feelings of separation, all I wanted to do was to hold him but I couldn't.
I went back to the ward with Jim and we both slept for a few hours in the hospital bed.
Thomas' first op at 12pm was to give him a colostomy bag as he was born with an imperfate anus (no bum hole) and the second op of the day was to remove his oesophagus from his lung and attach it to his tummy.
We finally heard at 9pm at night that both ops were successful and that he was very poorly but stable, boy how those 9 hours dragged. Jim went to Thomas' hospital that night to see him and then checked into a hotel, I tried to sleep but felt so very lonely, head racing, heart racing and trying my best to produce the colostrum needed for Thomas.
Thursday 8 September 2011
Wednesday 7 September 2011
Almost 7 years!
Almost 7 years ago, I fell pregnant with my beautiful little boy Thomas and what a rollercoaster it has been!!
I was in France on holiday with my then boyfriend (now husband) and my in-laws, feeling sick all holiday and having to stop on the M25 etc to pee in bushes I decided to do a pregnancy test when I got home.
Very nervously, I sat and waited for the 2 lines to show and guess what I was pregnant, I was over the moon as a few months previously I had miscarried but apprehensive at the same time, as I was distraught at the loss of my first.
The next few months were horrendous, I had a lot of time off work, from bleeding and the high chance of miscarrying but after the Christmas, pregnancy was a little better, though I was never convinced everything was ok.
Then on March 7th 2005 I had my 20 week scan and our world was turned upside down forever.
My baby was a boy who I named Thomas immediately (hubby had no say!), but our Thomas was no ordinary little boy, the hospital found abnormalities- Heart, Anus, Kidney, Oesophagus etc. I was told I needed to have an amino, which was scary as I didn't want to miscarry again and also advised that a termination was also possible.
NO WAY, this little thing inside was sooo loved that what would be, would be and we had to try everything.
The next few months were awful, then suddenly on a Sunday lunch hour I got a call from St Michaels Hospital in Bristol, I was to make my way there to be induced! Scared or what!!!
We live just outside Cardiff but because Thomas needed such specialised care and treatment he had to be delivered over the bridge as Wales could not cope with us!!
At least he can play for both Wales and England!!
Finally on the 6th of June at 10.30pm I went into labour and the most beautiful little boy came into our lives at 12.20am on the 7th of June, he was taken straight away by one of the 20 or so specialists in the room (legs up in stirrups, 20 people in the room, great!!).
We cried and cried tears of joy, and there have been many more tears of joy and heartache in the past 7 years that I will write about in the coming weeks.
I was in France on holiday with my then boyfriend (now husband) and my in-laws, feeling sick all holiday and having to stop on the M25 etc to pee in bushes I decided to do a pregnancy test when I got home.
Very nervously, I sat and waited for the 2 lines to show and guess what I was pregnant, I was over the moon as a few months previously I had miscarried but apprehensive at the same time, as I was distraught at the loss of my first.
The next few months were horrendous, I had a lot of time off work, from bleeding and the high chance of miscarrying but after the Christmas, pregnancy was a little better, though I was never convinced everything was ok.
Then on March 7th 2005 I had my 20 week scan and our world was turned upside down forever.
My baby was a boy who I named Thomas immediately (hubby had no say!), but our Thomas was no ordinary little boy, the hospital found abnormalities- Heart, Anus, Kidney, Oesophagus etc. I was told I needed to have an amino, which was scary as I didn't want to miscarry again and also advised that a termination was also possible.
NO WAY, this little thing inside was sooo loved that what would be, would be and we had to try everything.
The next few months were awful, then suddenly on a Sunday lunch hour I got a call from St Michaels Hospital in Bristol, I was to make my way there to be induced! Scared or what!!!
We live just outside Cardiff but because Thomas needed such specialised care and treatment he had to be delivered over the bridge as Wales could not cope with us!!
At least he can play for both Wales and England!!
Finally on the 6th of June at 10.30pm I went into labour and the most beautiful little boy came into our lives at 12.20am on the 7th of June, he was taken straight away by one of the 20 or so specialists in the room (legs up in stirrups, 20 people in the room, great!!).
We cried and cried tears of joy, and there have been many more tears of joy and heartache in the past 7 years that I will write about in the coming weeks.
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